It's something I've pretended not to understand when my friends do this. I do understand it, though. This impulse exists, for me, as a way of counteracting the notion I'm not good enough. But if I get rid of everything I'm not proud of, then it's hard to see the growth I've experienced as a writer, an artist, a person. No one was born gifted in writing fiction or painting; they simply had the desire and dedication to be great.
I've hit a number of stumbling blocks lately. I'm finding it difficult to complete any of various projects including
- rereading The Catcher in the Rye
- practicing guitar for a minimum of 15 minutes daily
- exercising for an hour daily
- making stuffed animals based off my niece and nephew's drawings
- making stuffed animals of my own designs
- composing meaningful writing as a response to 642 Things to Write About
- practicing using my sewing machine
- keeping up with this blog
- starting a second blog
All of this is a lot to ask from someone who generally doesn't eat, sleep, or bathe in a predictable pattern, especially when I'm met by failure at every turn. I'm not giving up, though. I just need to figure out how to balance everything better than I have been.
Over the next few days, I'm going to take a break and get some much-needed socialization. Then next week, a trip. I'm not sure how much I'll be doing or blogging in the meantime, but I think I'll come back refreshed in the next week or two.
Hi Brittany, hope your refresher break is going well! I do enjoy your blogs and think it's quite an amazing commitment and feat to do them daily! What I find helps me when I'm blocked creatively is just to do one small small thing at a time to get me back on track, like a mix CD, ha, something fun and, well, easy! Then take it from there!
ReplyDeleteIf you can't get into Catcher in the Rye, I'd say leave it for now! Life is too short to read books that don't gel with us immediately (cause there are so many that do!). Honestly I think Catcher in the Rye will find you when the time is right. First time I read it was for college and it was like gibberish to me, I didn't get it. Second time, a few years later, I loved it. Every word resonated with me and the sentences sang like an anthem. So you see, there's a time and a place!
Creatively speaking, sometimes I think we can 'force' ourselves to do things that sound good, but then that's when things can go downhill. I used to open that book (642 Things...) and think right, I'll do whatever topic I first see (because I have to), but at times, couldn't/wouldn't, so I just flicked through it and did the fun ones (because I wanted to)!
Point I'm trying to make I suppose, is, it's gotta be fun! And if it isn't, why not make it?! Hope to see you back on the blogging front soon! :)
And PS/ Don't be so harsh on yourself and throw out early work - first drafts of anything are always fragile, and while they may not show any merit to you, they do have the potential for treasure buried within them!
Siobán,
DeleteThank you so much for your kind words. Your responses are always so thoughtful, and meaningful to me. I will be sure to take your advice and treasure my rough drafts and prototypes. One of the biggest lessons I need to learn is that I can't master anything on my first attempt!